What's the Perfect Day !!!!!

Perfect Day for a Woman
 8:15am--Wake up to hugs and kisses.
 8:30am--Weigh 5 lbs. lighter than yesterday.
 8:45am--Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants.
 9:15am--Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil.
10:00am--Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30am--Facial, manicure, shampoo, and comb out.
12:00pm--Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.
12:45pm--See ex-boyfriends wife, she's gained 30 lbs.
 1:00pm--Shopping with lovers money and credit cards.
 4:00pm--A dozen roses delivered by florist. Card from a secret admirer.
 4:15pm--Light workout at a club followed by a gentle massage.
 5:30pm--Pick outfit for dinner. Primp before mirror.
 7:30pm--Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.
10:00pm--Hot shower. Alone.
10:30pm--Make love.
11:00pm--Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
11:15pm--Fall asleep in his big strong arms.

Perfect Day for a Man
 6:30am--Massive dump while reading the sports section of USA Today.
 7:00am--Brekfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and coffee.
 7:30am--Limo arrives.
 7:45am--Bloody Mary en route to airport.
 8:15am--Private jet to Las Vegas.
 9:30am--Limo to Glitter Gulch.
 9:45am--Win big at the tables.
11:45am--Lunch. All you can eat buffet and all you can drink margaritas.
12:30pm--Win big at the tables
 2:15pm--Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis.
 2:30pm--Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas. Nap.
 3:15pm--Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.
 4:30pm--Catch world record light tackle marlin-1249 lbs.
 5:00pm--Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked Frederick's of Hollywood models.
 7:00pm--Watch CNN 30 minute Newsflash.
 7:30pm--Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon, 20 oz. New York strip.
 9:00pm--Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.
10:00pm--Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.
11:00pm--Massage and Jacuzzi.
11:45pm--Go to bed.
11:50pm--Let loose a 12 second, 4-octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room.
11:55pm--Laugh yourself to sleep.


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