100 Reasons Why Its Great To Be A Guy
1. There is no #1 reason, and that's okay
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female
3. Child birth
4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase
5. Monday Night Football
6. Belching is cool
7. Your bathroom lines are always 80% shorter
8. You can open all your own jars
9. Old friends don't give a crap if you've lost or gained weight
10 .Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind
11. Screw up the laundry once, never allowed to do it again
12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview
13. All your orgasms are real
14. Those chairs by the waiting room at lingerie shops are for you
15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you
16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go
17. You can still get away with MAKING a Valentine's day card
18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group
19. Your last name stays put
20. You can understand Homer Simpson
21. You never get a stupid Love Quiz in GQ
22. You can kill your own food
23. The garage is all yours
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
25. Big Breasted Stripper days on Jerry Springer
26. We're treated like royalty when we're sick
27. You never have to clean the toilet
28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves
31. If someone forgets to invite you to something he or she is still your friend
32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship.
34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry
35. You don't have to shave below the neck
36. Scratching your ass is just fine
37. If you're 34 and single nobody notices
38. You can write your name in snow
39. Beer is a food group
40. Everything on your face stays its original colour
41. Chocolate is just another snack
42. You can be president
43. Going to the gym to look at the aerobic girls is called 'working out'
44. Flowers fix everything
45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings
46. You get to think about sex 90% of the day
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park
48. Three pairs of shoes are enough
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store
50. A 'mood swing' is a place, with a swing, where you get sex.
51. Foreplay is optional
52. Falling asleep right after sex
53. Nobody stops telling a dirty joke when you walk into the room
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day
55. Middle aged, big gut? No problem, it's expected.
56. Underwear lasts longer than most marriages
57. Car mechanics tell the truth
58. The belly button is a fantastic place to store corn chip crumbs
59. You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without thinking: He must be mad at me
60. The world is your urinal
61. Wake up, shower, eat, brush your teeth, leave... max 15 minutes.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff
63. Hotwax never comes near your pubic area
64. One mood, all the time
65. Your virginity is never 'taken' away. You'd gladly give it to anyone that asks.
66. Father-in-laws are sweet older men. Mother-in-laws are nasty old bitches.
67. You know at least twenty ways to open a beer bottle
68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing
69. Same work...more pay
70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character
71. You dont have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment
72. It's OK to marry a girl much younger than you if you have money
73. It's OK to cop a free feel when you cuddle.
74. With 400 million sperms per shot you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory
75. You never have to wear high heels.
76. Sometimes women will fight over you, and you get to watch
77. The remote is yours and yours alone
78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them
79. People never complain about men drivers
80. Drinking till you pass out is occasionally OK
81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mom
83. Breast augmentation on your wife is a gift to both of you
84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom
85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will,he won't tell your friends you've changed
86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man, and you're looking forward to it.
87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Fuck it!"
88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit you might become lifelong buddies
89. Dad always let you stay out late while your sister had to be in before midnight
90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected
91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood
92. You're expected to stink if you work out
93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room
94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet
95. If someone bothers you, you just don't talk to them and problem solved.
96. Telephone company commercials don't make you cry
97. Not liking a person does not eliminate having great sex with them
98. Girls play Barbie. You had GI Joe
100. There is always a game on somewhere
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